Just Something!

As I stood on the cross roads of life, there’s so much that went by.
I waited.
this waiting seemed like it would never end.

And now as I look forward, I see the fast approaching future!
it’s coming from all directions to get me.
the brim of it is so bright, it’s blinding me!
bright yet silent! This light has engulfed me so much so that.. now I feel lost.
like I am in the middle of nowhere. Everything looks like its frozen.
for me to look beneath the skin, to find what lies underneath of all that’s obvious!!

I am happy to move on..
But this happiness is overtaken with the fears of leaving behind all that I was holding on to!
for so long!
I had got so used to being treated like a pearl inside its sea shell.
Like a dew drop on a leaf blade.
Like the rainbows after any first shower.
Like any day’s first ray of sunshine.

There’s so much I want yet I don’t feel the need of it.
So much I want to tell.. that my own silence now seems deafening.
what do you call this state of life?
one where you want everything to stay as it was when you know it’s defi not possible, where you want things to change but you know they will not!

Life has it’s own ways but
if only, I could get a glimpse of what’s mine but is kept hidden from me.
if only, I could atleast hear people, of situations, and of places that ill go to!

as future conquers my soul the last thing on my mind is, where was I when I was conquered?? What is this place called? And if, there were other people who had come here before me, why didn’t they tell tales of its existence?

will I ever visit this place again?? Or will that be another crossroad with different directions leading to new destinations?

I don’t know of the place I am going to and I don’t know if I’ll ever meet the likeness of you!
but you know what? Sometime’s its better to let go and allow time to take you across the expanse of life!

Penned down for Burma [just another Muslim genocide]

Silence…..
I hear it all around me
they’ve come
they continue to come in large groups
their number is huge
while we are only a handful
many of us already dead
lying on the grounds waiting to be Laid

Now they are coming to get what’s left of us

Blood…..
My tongues got taste of it
my brothers head, I can’t find it
those wounds of my mother, nothing to hide with
my sisters smile, I keep searching for everywhere
My husband.. But where is he?
being his own self always, a possessive dad
he’s run away with our kids
I am sure they are safe and I don’t need to worry

Hiding….
and all alone
if I could, i would
I hear Abdur Rahman, pleading for me to play with him
”hide, mommy! And I will find you!!”
People hold me, some even push me away
I think they are all dead
”son, its time for bed”!
I whisper into nothingness

Fire….
I smell it from all corners,
”oh dear, have you burnt the dinner again??”
I hear him shout from the living area
”sorry, love” teary eyed
I wait for him to come to me
to tell me , he loves me anyway
I look out into darkness!

Swords and Flesh..
There are so many pieces of them
a movement.. “Hide!!” they scream.
”Oh, it’s a bird...”
Its come to eat my family
no, I hear it.. Its Abdul Kareem crying
Its time to feed him... Its time and he must be hungry
they hold me, they wont let me go to Abdul Kareem
he is but one , he cant even speak
”I am coming dear, please don’t cry!”
I run across nowhere

People
I see them, they look just like you
they don’t care either
they don’t hear a wailing Abdul kareem
they don’t see a scared Abdur Rahman
they wont take my husband into their country

Ya Allah! I have wronged myself
I had hope from those who’ve got nothing on me
but by God, I know there are few
far away sitting in their luxurious homes
but crying for a homeless, stranded me
and hoping, that one day I get to meet my family!

A girl I knew ( who’s lost her life to "love" )

The shore awaits his coming
and it is her nature to wait
Wait, for her love to come back
from the farthest lands
Beyond oceans and time
the setting sun far in the horizon
sends her a message

tonight is dark than the darkest                     
While the waves hit on her
and keep hitting her
sometimes a nudge, sometimes a pull
If only they could ward her away
or take her to him
something keeps telling her of her foolishness
Trusting blindly is foolish
how does she know he’s gonna come back?
Come back for her?
And even if he does ... Will he come with a warranty
that he is what he was?
She knows the truth but would never want to face it
The small lump of softness within, bleeds
She bleeds love
and
She is now helpless!
R.I.P

Bleed For Palestine

sometimes its OK to cry
to break down, to run about asking for help
and help would come to rescue

sometimes its not bad to kill your ego
you could as well take shelter, somewhere other than Home
and humanity would welcome you

sometimes you can count on fate
not doing anything besides, just waiting for things to change
and they would

sometimes you can tell others
of your fears and weaknesses
and people would listen

sometimes its good to fear death
darkness, inside out
and life would understand

sometimes there’s too many sometimes
but Today you’ve got to be grateful
because You can do all that

while, there are many who cannot even try
Many.. In Palestine they reside.

Are we grown up yet?

Parents – a very small term given to a window, through which a child sees the world, learns to survive the battle and last till the very end. We all pay a tribute to their contribution in building or better said in laying the foundation to our success.

But, wasn’t it their responsibility to look after us while we were fragile and had no one else to look after us? They had to treat us good. No second options. We are mature now and do not need any opinions on how to lead our lives. We hail from “Youngistaan”. We are fast paced running after success. What right have the parents got to stop us from living our lives? None, but let’s halt for a second and look at life from their perspective-

Time seems to be the only constant for those old and weary eyes filled with sadness.

Those wrinkled hands which had helped little ones hold on to life. That zeal to conquer the world for their angels to rule is left unappreciated. Now, their eyes are too old to see what went wrong. Those hands too weak to earn a living and that zeal brought down by rain of tears. Is this what the struggle had been about? When there is sadness all around some might say – “picture abhi baaki hai mere dost”, but I see thousands of parents waiting for their kids to return and die alone.

One may ask,” Where have the kids gone?”. The reply we get is,” To live our lives”. But why aren’t those who gave you life a part of it? Why can’t your happiness be shared with the one’s whose only source of happiness is to see you smile? Is it really that big? It makes you think that your parents might not be able to take it? Well, they had taken every wail from you even though you don’t remember. They helped you talk/walk and what not! Can those favours be all forgotten? I don’t think it’s that easy.

And, isn’t it our responsibility to pay back and look after them when they are fragile?

Why isn’t the “no second options” option made available to kids all around? Why are we as a society encouraging kids to leave their parents at Old Age Home’s doorstep?

Why are we thanking kids just because they throw money for their parents’ survival and behave like they have given them more than what was expected of them? Are parents being bribed and asked to shut up and die?

Reality should never be honey coated for those who do not understand and, the actual fact is that “kids” who do this are not “mature” enough. Even though they have made it big in business, they remain a tiny fleck of nothing. They are not big enough to take care of the one’s who had given them birth. Not big enough to handle the frustration/anger from those who had understood their needs right from the time they could barely talk. Not big enough to bring a smile to those who gave up their lives for them And, not big enough to stay while parents’ heart die in a rhythm of satisfaction –one which says that they had raised a diamond.

Let us not forget that one day we have to reach that point of life too. We have to get old. The law of existence is such that you give respect and you take respect. We all should and must respect our parents for all that they’ve been doing for us. And, no matter what, where or how nobody can pay them back. We can only keep trying.

So, let us all do a self analysis of our lives. Let’s prove what we claim to be right is right – that yes, we are indeed grown ups!